January 2012
Elliott: +1 (907) 306-2404
Elliott: facetime me, bitch
Katie K.: :p
Katie K.: no way
Elliott: said in the most loving of manners.
Elliott: yes way
Elliott: everyone else does
Elliott: don't you want to be a cool kid too?
Elliott: #peerpressure #peerpressure #peerpressure #peerpressure
Katie K.: I don't get pressured skank
Elliott: HEY SKANK
Elliott: DO IT
Katie K.: NO
Elliott: )=
Katie K.: I don't get in cars with strangers
Elliott: but
Elliott: this car has CANDY
Elliott: and ELLIOTT
Katie K.: hate both of those things
Elliott: D:
Elliott: I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE
Elliott: CANDY IS AMAZING
November 2011
Emily: I WAS TALKING ABOUT MY TITS, ELLIOTT.
Emily: GOD.
Elliott: oh
Elliott: tits are boring
Elliott: You can’t shoot people with tits.
Emily: actually,
October 2011
Yurii: btw are you still dating your last girlfriend?
Elliott C.: what? who?
Elliott C.: which one? idfk
Elliott C.: probably the answer is no
Yurii: I remember you were going gaga all over some chick
Elliott C.: er
Elliott C.: idfk
Elliott C.: I go gaga all over all of the chicks
Yurii: poor chicks
Elliott C.: ikr
Elliott C.: it’s hard to wash all that gaga out of their hair
Yurii: ewww
Yurii: do you gaga into their hair?
Elliott C.: of course!
Elliott C.: where do you gaga?
Yurii: I don't gaga
Elliott C.: what
Elliott C.: dude, that’s unhealthy
< jesusabdullah> Also: Obviously we need a node.js minecraft server
< jesusabdullah> I wonder what the perf would be like
< jesusabdullah> if the RAM could be mitigated reasonably
< jesusabdullah> etc, etc
< mmalecki> jesusabdullah: http://www.bravoserver.org/
< russfrank> theres a bunch apparently
< russfrank> http://www.minecraftwiki.net/wiki/Custom_servers
< jesusabdullah> mmalecki: Have you heard of bukkit? It's an extension library
< russfrank> i was unaware
< lukstr> jesusabdullah: I stopped listning at "node.js"
< mmalecki> jesusabdullah: I did, but I didn't use it
< elliottcable> the friends I have who subscribe to this minecraft insanity swear by bukkit
< elliottcable> one of my friends even wrote a bukkit plugin that versions the entire world with git
< jesusabdullah> That sounds handy
< elliottcable> so you can commit changes and publish the world history on GitHub
< mmalecki> elliottcable: I did that!
< mmalecki> without publishing part
< mmalecki> and by hand
< ryanolds_w> git commit -m "Removed dirt block"
< ryanolds_w> git commit -m "Placed dirt block"
< jesusabdullah> Oh man, imagine the feed on THAT git repo
< elliottcable> ryanolds_w › not comitting each change; he had an in-game command to commit updates to the world
< ryanolds_w> Haha
< mmalecki> imagine pushing that repo!
< ryanolds_w> ^_^
< ryanolds_w> Yeah.
< jesusabdullah> [fix] Damage from creepers
< ryanolds_w> git branch new_house
< jesusabdullah> [feature] gigantic brick npm logo
< mmalecki> pull requests?
jesusabdullah: --loglevel brick
jesusabdullah: put that on every log message.
< mmalecki> yo, that block shouldn't be there
< elliottcable> 60 S 951 61 < jesusabdullah> [feature] gigantic brick npm logo
< elliottcable> laughing my ass off
< jesusabdullah> isaacs: hah :D
< jesusabdullah> You do know, of course, that [feature] gigantic brick npm logo is going to be like the second thing I do right?
< jesusabdullah> well, it'll probably be sheep wool but we can ignore that for now!
< gqbrielle> elliottcable is a textbook example of unreliable narrator
September 2011
< gqbrielle> elliottcable: you're significantly scarier than a goldfish
< gqbrielle> elliottcable: but not as scary as like. a shark.
< Nuck> lol
< Nuck> I have 7 windows
< prophile> yeah, I'm up to the best part of 40 windows most of the time
< gkatsev> I have 19
< gkatsev> elliottcable: has like 100 or more
< prophile> over... six different networks?
< gkatsev> I think ec is like only on freenode
< prophile> elliott's a bit mad
< prophile> stop the fucking presses
< Nuck> a bit?
< Nuck> He's far more than "a bit" mad
< Nuck> He's a lunatic.
< gkatsev> prophile: he is a card short of a full deck
< Nuck> But that's why he's so awesome.
< gkatsev> he's not quite the shilling
< gkatsev> he's one wave short of a shipwreck
< gkatsev> he's knitting with only one needle
< Nuck> gkatsev: Yeah, I don't think he'd sell for a shi— Oh, you weren't talking about slave trade.
< gkatsev> he's driving only three wheels these days
* Nuck just imagined elliott riding a tricycle.
< gkatsev> he's missing that one final screw
< Nuck> gkatsev: HE's one pancake short of a kamasutra.
< gkatsev> he's smiply no in the pink my dear
< gkatsev> to be honest, he hasn't got a clue
* gkatsev is now done changing queen lyrics to fit ec
“I’ve never met anyone who is that awesome when on drugs”
– Nuck, speaking of me (unfortunately)
gqbrielle: elliottcable: you're a bit of a whore everywhere
“and as a result, people talk
and i’m just like
this is a cool podcast”
August 2011
< Tash> being friends with elliottcable is like talking to a wall
< IamTash> elliott, you just made nexxy tear her phone apart
< IamTash> in pieces
< IamTash> it's all over the floor
IamTash: erwhat
< IamTash> she ripped her phone into three pieces
what is this I don’t even
< IamTash> lololol
< IamTash> I came outta the bathroom and she was cursing your name and tearing her phone apart
… ahhahha uh, okay then
Since you’re not going to fucking help with Paws
would one of you colossal cunts write me a command-line Twitter client that ISN’T FUCKING RETARDED?
My requirements are so minimal as to be laughable, and yet NOT A SINGLE CLIENT CAN MEET THEM. OH MY GOD FUUUU.
< devyn> elliottcable: well, what are your criteria?
A) streaming API. I need tweets *as soon as they happen*.
A1) the user-data portion of the streaming API (and since this is a command-line client, we can break Twitter’s rules, and I expect to see unfollowed/deleted actions bubbled to the surface!)
B) *sane* conversation-threading-handling (read: Tweetbot-style)
C) support for using lists instead of the timeline, but in the exact same way (i.e. “select a given list, and that list becomes your timeline”)
THAT’S IT.
oh
and D, E, F, G, H, and I): DON’T.
FUCKING.
T.CO.
MY.
FUCKING.
LINKS.
Some of these are against Twitter’s terms-of-service for client devs nowadays
and you know what? I DON’T CARE.
Give me a client where I can put my own “application” keys in there, and I’ll just keep generating new ones when Twitter bans them. They can fuck the hell right off with their retarded, Apple-esque “We hate all of you client developers!” shit.
< devyn> elliottcable: how's Tweetbot's conversation threading work?
t.co can suck a dick; then the inability to bubble-up tweet deletions or unfollow events can take that dick up the ass. Finally, t.co can suck the shit off of aforementioned dick when it’s done with aforementioned inability to bubble.
July 2011
I thought I spent too much time on the internet
and then I met elliottcable
William : wow
William : describe what you do in laymen's terms
Elliott C.: I also argue a lot.
Elliott C.: I’m good at that.
Elliott C.: And call people idiots.
Elliott C.: I’m good at that.
cpan is a fucking std.
MTecknology: !away > elliottcable
ngxbot: elliottcable, please see my private message
ngxbot: wants you to know: You should avoid noisy away messages and -nicks. It's considered spam and rude. Especially when you have an excessively long away handle. Use the command "/away " to set your client away silently. See http://bisqwit.iki.fi/jutut/away.html
elliottcable: !fuckoff > MTecknology
elliottcable: aw damnm, it doesn’t have a thing for that?
»» mode/#NginX [+o MTecknology] by ChanServ
»» elliottcable was kicked from #nginx by MTecknology [elliottcable]
June 2011
+alexgordon: elliottcable is the DOM
@elliottcable: do you know any JS/DOM?
+alexgordon: I suppose
+alexgordon: but then I thought I knew C
locks: C is elliottcable. when you think you start knowing him, BAM! suprise motherfucker
Elliott C.: COME PLAY WITH MEEEEEE
Eva: nnfffff
Eva: I dunoooo
Eva: I DUNNO DUDE
Eva: I'LL THINK ABOUT IT
Elliott C.: I have rice.
Eva: Rice.
Elliott C.: rice.
Eva: You make a compelling argument.
albel727: git unpack-objects that is.
elliottcable: AHHAH
elliottcable: found that at the same time as you
albel727: just make sure your pack is outside .git dir
elliottcable: looks like I can move all the packs somewhere else
elliottcable: and then unpack them into my recovery-repo
elliottcable: bwahahahaha
albel727: it's all good, mate. just don't go mad on me, will ya? )
albel727: I know, restoring a git repo is a stress and all... but that bwahaha is just too scary, y'know )
elliottcable: Oh, I’m long since insane.
elliottcable: I have references.
albel727: references?
elliottcable: albel727: http://ell.io/4pdL http://ell.io/XtH8 http://ell.io/bL4l http://ell.io/oVjJ http://ell.io/xhrH http://ell.io/JJpi http://ell.io/8GT4 http://ell.io/pokM http://ell.io/DQ6J http://ell.io/VQyb
albel727: holy git
elliottcable: albel727: I’m going to stop trawling for more, and get back to fixing my git repo. Just let me know if you require more proof.
judofyr: but…why?
judofyr: you're insane :D
+locks: elliottcable is a compiler
+locks: he compiles everything into elliottcable
+alexgordon: with elliottcable you have to be sure you understand everything he's just said, otherwise you will not understand a single thing in the future
+alexgordon: elliottcable: you are the voice of a generation
+alexgordon: HOW have I never seen the parallels between elliottcable and kanye before?
+alexgordon: man they're virtually the same person
May 2011
elliottcable: sephr: Some day, you are going to be an *amazing* bureaucrat.
eboyjr: isn't that an oxymoron?
sephr: not if it's me
+elliottcable: how old are you?
janey: 22 :p
janey: im old
+elliottcable: oh jesus, really?
janey: that's not offensive
+elliottcable: I thought you were, idfk, 25-27.
janey: oh god i can't imagine being 25
April 2011
Elliott C.: LAYERS BITCH
Elliott C.: what was I talking about
Zak: parfait
Elliott C.: linguistics.
Elliott C.: Oi.
Elliott C.: Let me teach you my language.
Zak: parfait!
Elliott C.: Huge waste of your time.
Elliott C.: BUT SO MUCH FUN.
Zak: PARFAIT!
Elliott C.: You’ll be dripping fun.
Elliott C.: like, rain.
Zak: PARFAIT!
Elliott C.: er, if you’re the sky.
Elliott C.: are you the sky?
Zak: Acknowledge the parfait!
Zak: I missed a comma
Zak: here: ,
+alexgordon: BRB MAKING A SANDWICH (SAYING THIS IN CAPS BECAUSE IT'S _IMPORTANT_)
Elliott C.: less tripping, more trying :3
Ranjani: yeah
Ranjani: BALLS OF STEEL
Elliott C.: IF YOU HAD BALLS
Elliott C.: IT WOULD PROBABLY BE CREEPY
Ranjani: THEY'RE METAPHORICAL
Elliott C.: BUT YES THAT
March 2011
* phrik sodomizes elliottcable
* nycjv321 grabs camera to watch phrik sodomize elliottcable
+elliottcable: I want c@at. so bad
+alexgordon: so go buy austria
+alexgordon: you can afford it
+jeannicolas: I don't think I can right now
+alexgordon: I was talking to elliott
+alexgordon: WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME
+jeannicolas: oh, he can for sure
+jeannicolas: be...because I thought we were friends :(
»» Irssi: Starting query in Freenode with prophile
prophile: banisterfiend is kind of a troll
elliottcable: totally is
elliottcable: huge troll
elliottcable: but also extremely intelligent
elliottcable: I’ve *been* in his code. He’s a smart guy, troll that he is.
prophile: you've been IN his code?
prophile: like, tron-style thing?
elliottcable: yeah
elliottcable: it tried to eat me
elliottcable: I was all NO and used metaprogramming against it
elliottcable: it was an epic battle
Micah: hahaha I love ##Paws
Micah: best channel anyone ever made
Elliott: you sure about that?
Elliott: I’ve seen this one porn…
Abigail: positive.
Elliott: … these half‐dozen porns …
Elliott: porns? does that work? pluralizing it?
Abigail: those were fantasy porn
Elliott: zombies are fantastic.
Abigail: I think it has to be porn-singular
Abigail: pornos-plural.
Elliott: pornos*
Elliott: that’s fucking lame.
Abigail: or porn is like sheep.
Abigail: singular and plural.
Micah: so who do I follow, who's awesome
Elliott: what
Micah: on twitter
Micah: who are some awesome people
Elliott: What kind of people are you looking for.
Micah: people who do cool stuff like you and bluebie
Micah: animatronic squid hats, programming languages, etc.
February 2011
most people on Twitter
Michelle W.: bc i dont get it
Michelle W.: also i lack that very necessary feeling of "importance" you need for twitter
Elliott: whatcha mean?
Elliott: most people on Twitter are unimportant twats.
cschneid ↼ you’re welcome to stay, by the way. This is a very… interesting… channel. When it’s active, that is.
< cschneid> elliottcable: what is it? links? etc?
< cschneid> and yeah, I idle in lots of channels :)
this is what we try to answer
every day
we philosophise over the eternal questions: what is life? what is the universe? what is paws?
yeah, as soon as I get the logs fixed, you can grep them for “what is paws”
that’ll be several hours of entertaining reading
July 2010
“If you choose to omit semicolons where possible, my advice is to insert them...”
– Michaeljohn Clement (aka. inimino), speaking on semicolon insertion in JavaScript. Everybody who writes any JavaScript should read that article at some point in their lives.